Hereby I have finished my stories. I have told the stories I wanted to tell and I have shown the pictures I wanted to show. Of course I have many more memories of Barbara but they are too private to share on this website.

I rather would have exchanged the stories and pictures just with Barbara herself. We probably would conclude that the decision to break up in 1981 was a wise decision. But now, knowing more about Barbara's life after 1981, I am not so sure anymore.

It was nice going back thirty years, back to those intense and often happy years of my life. I also enjoyed the many contacts I had with the fans, either by the guestbook or by mail. These people made me much wiser.

I had many discussions. Some people were angry about what I did, others encouraged me to continue writing. Of course were there discussions about Barbara's suicide and about the role of Kent in her life. Also have I been told about a lot of other interesting topics like life in Hong Kong, the acting business, discrimination, Asian religion, the life of first and second generation immigrants, I even had my face read (she was 80% right ) and one fan gave birth to twins during our period that we mailed.

Some people recognized parts of their own life in my stories. They told me about their very personal life. With their permission I am publishing these stories on this website. These stories will give a better impression of what Barbara's life was like in England. The type of pressure she had to deal with and what kind of decisions she had to make. I hope that others who are in the same situation or had similar experiences can learn or be comforted by these stories.

I have been told about Barbara's life in Hong Kong. Her acting career, her private life and her suicide attempts. It was a difficult story for me to understand. A girl I knew so well was portrayed on the internet as person I didn't recognize any more. People have been very helpful in finding the answers to the questions I had. Nearly all my questions have been answered except one.

On the night that Barbara died, the last words she wrote were:
'Darling, I love you'
Why did she write these words in English?

Thank you for visiting this website,


1981 posing with hands in hair




我们做了许多讨论。有人对我的所为很生气,也有人鼓励我继续写作。当然也有讨论Barbara的自杀以及Kent在她人生中的所承担的角色。我也了解了许多其它有趣的话题,比如香港的生活,娱乐圈,歧视,亚洲宗教,第一代和第二代移民生活。甚至还有人替我看了面相 (80%说对了) 。在我和一个影迷的通信期间,她告诉我她的双胞胎出生了。



"Darling, I love you"




(thanks to Natalie for the translation)


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