Barbara didn't like to be told what to do, even unasked helpful advises weren't appreciated . For example one time Barbara was playing a badminton match during a tournament. She had to win or else she was knocked out. But she didn't play very well, she was losing although her opponent was a lesser player. Barbara hit the shuttle nearly every time hard in the net. To be helpful I tried to coach her. I made a remark that she should try the hit the shuttle over the net. Instead of thanking me for this helpful advice she gave me a very angry look. From then on she started hitting the shuttle deliberately even harder in the net. Every time she looked at me with an expression "don't you dare to make a comment now!'. She didn't win that match and I think she blamed me for it. From then on I never made any more helpful or coaching comments towards Barbara.

Barbara lived in two separate worlds, with her family and with me. She didn't want those worlds to get in contact with each other. She would use everything within her abilities to prevent her family know what she did with me. She could be very extreme in this. Once we were driving on my motorbike past a traffic queue. Suddenly a woman stepped out of a car at the moment we were passing. Luckily we were driving very slowly. The door of car hid the bike, the bike skidded and I was thrown off. Barbara got caught underneath the bike, she had quite a big wound on her leg. The woman felt very guilty, she wanted to take Barbara immediately to the hospital. Barbara refused indisputable, no way she was going to the hospital, that way her mother would find out that she been with me on the back of a motorbike. Barbara could hardly walk, so she finally agreed that the woman would take her home. But only after the woman had promised that she would not mention a word about me, the motorbike or what happened to her mother or uncle.

While I lived day by day, Barbara was already planning our future. She persuaded me that we should open a saving account at the bank. Every time we had some spare money we went to the bank. It was something she wanted to do together, it made her feel happy and secure. Sometimes she lend that money out to Chinese families who needed a loan for their business. She assured me that the loans would always be payed back (without interest). To be honest I had no clue what Barbara did with the money, she was the accountant.

Barbara could be very sentimental about little things. One day I walked to the CCAT and I saw a nice deep red rose, just coming out of its bud. I took it with me to school and gave it to Barbara. She kept that rose all day. Every where she went that day, she was holding that rose. She cherished that flower like it was a very valuable and sensitive part of herself. At the end of the day she took it home. I don't know how long she kept it, I think a long time. I was very surprised, I thought "it is just a rose, but apparently not".

When Barbara was with people she didn't know very well, she was very polite and she tried to say what she thought people would like to hear. Sometimes she said things which I knew she didn't mean. That irritated me. I have been brought up in giving my opinion, who ever I am talking to. Barbara was different in this. I suppose it's a culture thing. We didn't argue about it. But every time she did it, I looked at her with the expression 'what can you be an hypocrite sometimes!'.

When Barbara and I were alone in the apartment or on holiday, Barbara liked wearing my shirts or jumpers. Probably because she didn't like to wear tight clothes, it made her feel comfortable. I suppose it was also a kind of feeling of freedom, not having to care what to look like or what to wear.

When we were together Barbara wanted to have some physical contact with me. Holding hands or putting her arm thru my arm. This also could be subtle like touching my leg with her leg or holding my finger. But there had to be contact. I noticed that many of posed pictures where she is with Kent, there was no contact. Someone told me that in those days in HK it was not common to touch each other in public, especially not celebrities. That must have been hard for Barbara.

The moments that Barbara and I went apart, she wanted a kiss, even if we be separated for just an hour. She said that if something would happen to me she would always remember that last kiss.

Barbara was in her way very caring for me. She never finished the food on her plate, she always left a bit. That was for me, I had to eat it. She gave me a jade stone to protect me against sickness, I had to wear it around my neck. She also gave a Saint Christophers medallion for my protection. She bought me warm and large clothes, like a Chinese silk coat or big protect me against the English weather. This made me look very cuddly. It seemed that Barbara was very busy in keeping me healthy and alive.

1978 BY walk

Who's shirt is it?

1979 watching












(translated by Julia)


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