Barbara didn't like to be told what to do, even unasked helpful advises weren't appreciated . For example one time Barbara was playing a badminton match during a tournament. She had to win or else she was knocked out. But she didn't play very well, she was losing although her opponent was a lesser player. Barbara hit the shuttle nearly every time hard in the net. To be helpful I tried to coach her. I made a remark that she should try the hit the shuttle over the net. Instead of thanking me for this helpful advice she gave me a very angry look. From then on she started hitting the shuttle deliberately even harder in the net. Every time she looked at me with an expression "don't you dare to make a comment now!'. She didn't win that match and I think she blamed me for it. From then on I never made any more helpful or coaching comments towards Barbara.

Barbara lived in two separate worlds, with her family and with me. She didn't want those worlds to get in contact with each other. She would use everything within her abilities to prevent her family know what she did with me. She could be very extreme in this. Once we were driving on my motorbike past a traffic queue. Suddenly a woman stepped out of a car at the moment we were passing. Luckily we were driving very slowly. The door of car hid the bike, the bike skidded and I was thrown off. Barbara got caught underneath the bike, she had quite a big wound on her leg. The woman felt very guilty, she wanted to take Barbara immediately to the hospital. Barbara refused indisputable, no way she was going to the hospital, that way her mother would find out that she been with me on the back of a motorbike. Barbara could hardly walk, so she finally agreed that the woman would take her home. But only after the woman had promised that she would not mention a word about me, the motorbike or what happened to her mother or uncle.

While I lived day by day, Barbara was already planning our future. She persuaded me that we should open a saving account at the bank. Every time we had some spare money we went to the bank. It was something she wanted to do together, it made her feel happy and secure. Sometimes she lend that money out to Chinese families who needed a loan for their business. She assured me that the loans would always be payed back (without interest). To be honest I had no clue what Barbara did with the money, she was the accountant.

Barbara could be very sentimental about little things. One day I walked to the CCAT and I saw a nice deep red rose, just coming out of its bud. I took it with me to school and gave it to Barbara. She kept that rose all day. Every where she went that day, she was holding that rose. She cherished that flower like it was a very valuable and sensitive part of herself. At the end of the day she took it home. I don't know how long she kept it, I think a long time. I was very surprised, I thought "it is just a rose, but apparently not".

When Barbara was with people she didn't know very well, she was very polite and she tried to say what she thought people would like to hear. Sometimes she said things which I knew she didn't mean. That irritated me. I have been brought up in giving my opinion, who ever I am talking to. Barbara was different in this. I suppose it's a culture thing. We didn't argue about it. But every time she did it, I looked at her with the expression 'what can you be an hypocrite sometimes!'.

When Barbara and I were alone in the apartment or on holiday, Barbara liked wearing my shirts or jumpers. Probably because she didn't like to wear tight clothes, it made her feel comfortable. I suppose it was also a kind of feeling of freedom, not having to care what to look like or what to wear.

When we were together Barbara wanted to have some physical contact with me. Holding hands or putting her arm thru my arm. This also could be subtle like touching my leg with her leg or holding my finger. But there had to be contact. I noticed that many of posed pictures where she is with Kent, there was no contact. Someone told me that in those days in HK it was not common to touch each other in public, especially not celebrities. That must have been hard for Barbara.

The moments that Barbara and I went apart, she wanted a kiss, even if we be separated for just an hour. She said that if something would happen to me she would always remember that last kiss.

Barbara was in her way very caring for me. She never finished the food on her plate, she always left a bit. That was for me, I had to eat it. She gave me a jade stone to protect me against sickness, I had to wear it around my neck. She also gave a Saint Christophers medallion for my protection. She bought me warm and large clothes, like a Chinese silk coat or big protect me against the English weather. This made me look very cuddly. It seemed that Barbara was very busy in keeping me healthy and alive.

1978 BY walk

Who's shirt is it?

1979 watching












(translated by Julia)



# RE: Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-22 00:20
Hi Rob

She looks nice on that shirt. Is it yours? thanks for the typical barbara's storey! I like to read it very much. Rob, keep it up n wish u stay healthy every now n then.
# RE: Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-22 02:27 update!

love to hear something new about her... keep up Rob...
# RE: Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-22 12:17

can you show some of your photo with smile? Mostly in ur photo u look so serious. ha ha.... thanks!

ann hee
# :DGuest 2010-09-22 14:22
:D Your coaching "advice" was funny, she probably just had a bad/off game which occurs and advising her to hit it over the net (which is what the game is all about) would no doubt spark further frustration. It's like playing soccer and your kicking for that game is poor and someone tell you, how about landing the ball in the back of the net? :lol:
# Re:Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-26 04:41
I knew you had happy days with Barbara through your essays and photos.What made you separate with Barbara?
# Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-26 06:43
Hi Rob, I truly enjoy the "TYPICAL BARBARA" story. It is so inspiring because both of you are so different, yet still enjoy spending time together. College days are carefree, innocent and precious. Once you are in the job market, you become more cynical and practical. You have a very "special loving relationship" with Barbara. I feel sad that you guys separate.
>> Question for Rob: (Please answer)
a) Did you try to contact Barbara after you all separate?
b) Did she talk to you/contact you after you all separate?
c) Did you all "bump" into each other on the campus or elsewhere after you separate? If you did, how did both of you cope????
# RE: Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-26 21:14
Vivian (and also Mandy), I am afraid you have to be patient, because all your questions are going to be answered in the stories to come.
# RE: Typical BarbaraGuest 2010-09-29 15:06
Thanks Rob for this wonderful essay. It makes Barbara alive again! She sounds so 'common' yet remarkable, strong-minded and independent yet sensitive and emotional, westernized yet very Chinese (never mind the phony talking part, coz in Chinese frankness towards strangers simply means rudeness). Every character you described here seems new to me, yet I felt that's exactly the way Barbara should have been.
# RE: Typical Barbarabrillhuang 2012-06-02 19:49
It made my day to find and read these stories! I tried so many times to leave comments,but the server is so busy that it refuses to show the security code. Hope it works this time.

I am so glad to read these precious memories, even more so to learn that Barbara had so many happy times back then. Her tv shows entertsined me so much during my teenage. Your stories are equally enjoyable! Tahnks a lot for sharing them so that I can discover the true Barbara many years after she left.
# RE: Typical Barbara 我眼中的美玲 1978嘉禾听风 2012-09-15 13:35
# 理解yinyin 2012-09-21 12:27
# RE: 21. Typical Barbara 我眼中的美玲 1978David 2013-09-27 10:11
“The moments that Barbara and I went apart, she wanted a kiss, even if we be separated for just an hour. She said that if something would happen to me she would always remember that last kiss.”



Barbara:因为我想牢牢看在心里 以后好回忆。
# RE: 21. Typical Barbara 我眼中的美玲 1978miss 2013-11-04 11:35
:lol: 很贴心的女友
# RE: 21. Typical BarbaraDavid 2014-08-16 06:48
She is afraids to lost you, in her heart, you are hers. She is probably absent love in here childhood, so she is keen to find it in the world, and you are the only straw she really got. Thanks for your sharing, this is typical her style, and you are the one really care about here since you can feel the sense.