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No it is not fair. I don't agree in the way her mother treated Barbara, but I do understand it.
The whole family business was dependent on Barbara, she was the only one integrated in the English society. Barbara did the administration including the accounting, negotiated with the suppliers and communicated with the staff. Barbara worked hard in the business so that they only needed one extra staff in the weekends (which saves a lot of money).
Beside this, Barbara was a very pretty and intelligent girl. Her mother must have hoped that Barbara would be an ideal candidate for a rich Chinese guy who knew what the Chinese traditions expected from him and therefore give Barbara and her family a much more comfortable life.
Barbara falling in love with me must have been her mother's worst scenario. She must have thought that Barbara would be taken away from her, leaving her alone in England. With no one to run the family business. And she might have heard about the reputations of the foreigners taking advantage of Chinese girls and then dumping them.
Also Barbara's mother had a very difficult life and had an unfair share of unhappiness. She must have lived under tremendous tension living in a strange country trying to survive as a single parent family with a daughter fighting for freedom, doing all kinds of things against her beliefs as a Chinese .
People should not blame her or accuse her. What happened to her is the worst what can happen to a parent and that is losing a child.
And finally, it wasn't because of her mother's actions that Barbara and I separated. Barbara's mother made our life difficult but not impossible.
这样说不公平。我不认可Barbara母亲对待她的方式，但是我能够理解。
那时整个家庭生意都要依靠Barbara，她是家里唯一一个真正融入英国社会的人。Barbara做了很多的管理工作，比如会计，和供应商谈判，和伙计沟通。Barbara做了那么多工作，因此他们只需要在周末雇一个活计。
除此之外，Barbara很漂亮也很聪明，她母亲一定希望她能够嫁给一个有钱的中国人，中国人能够了解中国传统对女婿的期望，从而能给Barbara和她的家人更舒适的生活。
Barbara爱上我对她而言一定是最坏的那种情况。她一定想到了Barbara会被带走，留她一个人在英国，再没有人能帮忙家庭生意。此外她也一定听说过外国人对中国女孩始乱终弃的坏名声。
Barbara的母亲一生很艰难，有太多的不幸。她作为一个单身母亲，带着一个做各种让一个中国母亲觉得离经叛道的的事情，一心抗争自由的女儿，在陌生的国家尽力谋生，她一定承受了极大的焦虑地生活着。
大家不应该怪罪谴责她。她遇到了对为人父母的人来说可能发生的最坏的事情，就是失去自己的孩子。
最后我想说的是，并不是因为她的行为我们才分开的。Barbara的母亲曾经令我们的生活面临困境，但并没有令我们完全没有可能。
(thanks to Natalie for the translation)
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