2. Was Barbara discriminated in England? ． Barbara在英国受到歧视吗？

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So far I know Barbara wasn't discriminated by the English. But she was by many Chinese. A lot of Chinese didn't want this pretty girl being 'wasted' on a foreign guy. We often went to China Town in London. Normally Barbara would talk English in a Chinese restaurant there. Sometimes she would suddenly start talking Chinese. That was her way of letting people in the restaurant know: 'I can understand Chinese and I heard the terrible things you are saying about me'. One time she suddenly stood up and walked out the restaurant. Outside she said to me that the waiters were making very insulting comments about her.

就我所知, Barbara没有被英国人歧视过，反而被不少中国人歧视过。许多中国人不希望看到这个漂亮的女孩和一个外国男子在一起被 "浪费"了。通常在中餐馆里Barbara讲英文。有时她会突然开始讲中文。她那样做是为了让餐馆里的人知道，"我能听懂中文，我听到了你们说的恶毒的话。"有一次她突然站起来走了出来。在外面她告诉我那些侍应生讲了她一些非常侮辱性的话。

(thanks to Natalie for the translation)

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zhouxu
10 years ago
sigh~ :-|
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Kevin Yip
12 years ago
Also want to add that the prejudices seem to be greater when it is a Chinese guy marrying a Western lady, because a Chinese man is thought of as having to carry the family name and tradition.
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Kevin Yip
12 years ago
The Chinese have a very outdated belief in who should marry whom. Rob, even if you were Chinese, there would still be animosity towards you if your background, station, upbringing, etc, did not conform to what they believed as a "good match" ufor Barbara. In multi-cultural environments, such as the US, things are better. In the US, as of right now, nearly 40-50% of American-born Asians marry non-Asians. Doesn't mean prejudices are totally gone, of course, only lessened.
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Jade
13 years ago
Oh and I saw on a Youtube interview clip, Barbara did say that she was discriminated in England. She said she went to a school where they told her she was the only Chinese person in the entire school and they asked her if she was willing to do something (can't remember what it was) and she refused.
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Mei Ling Fan
13 years ago
The teacher told Barbara to study one grade lower. She refuse and told the teacher she may quit the school of they won't let her study at that level. Eventually the teacher gave in. Of coz in the end Barbara won.
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Hannah
13 years ago
This is very true. I know it is not the same with every situation, but one very big reason they discriminate against interracial marriages is because of the lack of communication, the language barrier. Sad, but very true.
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Jade
13 years ago
Yea, I can relate to this because I'm Chinese and marrying a white guy and my parents are ok with it but I know deep down my dad hates it and sometimes he makes comments that are sooo stupid! Chinese parents just want their kids to marry Chinese but they have to understand that there are good guys in every race and we're in 2011 here!
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Guest
14 years ago
Did the waiter actually insulted you or Barbara or both? Anyway, it's disheartening to see the Chinese in England discriminating on the English when they are actually living in their land. Even if they personally prefer to have relationships with their own race, they shouldn't impose it on other people.

But didn't the chinatown people liked her? I couldn't remember where I had read but I read that the chinatown people loved her and they were terribly shocked and cried when the news about her suicide came out.
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Guest
14 years ago
This incident happened when Barbara wasn't famous, and as they say everybody loves the famous!
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Guest
14 years ago
In Singapore, women would be deemed as Sarong Party Gals (SPGs) if they are seen with Western guys by some people. Imagine Barbara back in the conservative 70s. It must have been tough. IMO, Bob is better looking than Kent. At least he doesn't need to pile on the heavy makeup like the latter.
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Guest
14 years ago
I have to say, based on my very limited experiences, that English people are generally very polite and seemingly nice, but some people can be really mean (e.g., a lady working in a convenience store deliberately gave me wrong direction). Also, it's a known fact that European people don't like immigrants.
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Guest
14 years ago
Hi Rob, this website was introduced in a Singapore weekly magazine. That's how I came to know about it. Because of your beautiful story, there was a full colour page written specially for Barbara. Thanks a lot !!
I did ever read about Barbara mentioned about you in one of her interview. She said she was forced to breakup n was very sad. Thus when an opportunity came to go back HK for holiday, she went....n never return :cry:
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Guest
14 years ago
Hi Rob, I just listened to a Hong Kong online radio and they were talking about Barbara (after all these years, Barbara still a legend and a great memeory in most of HK people's hearts, including me), which led me started to youtube her and finally I AM HERE writing a message to you.thanks so much for sharing this to us.

Am also from HK and living in London, going to marry a white guy in a few months time, this is why I found it intriguing to read you and Barbara's love story. Your photos showed us you had such a great time with Barbara, and her sweet words on postcard..etc. This is not just a sweet website to tribute a big star but also you share a real and sweet love story that you both had.
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Guest
14 years ago
mmmmm... if only i had other chance, i would marry a English man, chinese men are so controling!!
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Guest
14 years ago
Barbara never wanted a protective boyfriend. Barbara could take care of herself. She didn't want a guy who would be telling her how to live her life or someone who was going to interfere with her life. Therefore the last thing she wanted was someone picking a fight for her. She didn't believe in heroes.
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Guest
14 years ago
I wish that you will have more stories. Can you tell us how did you feel when she left?
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Guest
14 years ago
Nowhere, you wrote, "why didn't u run at the waiter when u knew he was insulting ur lover?"

"Run at the waiter" means pick up a quarrel with the waiter...it possibly leads to a fight, right? Play by ear means to listen to both sides.

You said, "if more and more those words appeared around her that would make her lose confidence to love a foreigner,maybe that was the cause she left Rod to come to HK," how did you know if you are not BY and she lost confidence in Rob?

I am put off by your comments. Bye!!
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Guest
14 years ago
Nowhere, I think you are silly and childish. You should play by ear to understand the whole situation first before making comments. If I were Rob, it was very silly to confront the waiter like that, it was not worthy to land oneself in jail or whatever. I won't walk into the trap of the waiter by making a fool of myself to confront the waiter in that manner. The best thing was to ignore the foolish waiter.

I'm sure that BY don't want Rob to confront him and made a big deal out of that.
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