13. What were Barbara's ambitions? Barbara的人生理想是什么？

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The story that Barbara became famous was for me one of the strangest and unexpected things in Barbara's life. What she achieved in HK was completely the opposite of the ambitions she had in England. This is something I am still trying to understand. As I got the feeling that this may be the answer to why she was so unhappy in HK.

Barbara never showed any ambition in being a movie star or a singer or playing music or being a television star. The CCAT was a school with a lot of performance art possibilities. You could get acting lessons or music/singing lesson, all free of charge and during school time. I followed guitar lessons. But Barbara never showed any interest in music or acting, she didn't even mention it or spoke about wanting to learn this. She never went to see a play, not even when she lived in London. I liked to see movies and therefore we often went to the cinema, Barbara didn't take any initiative in seeing movies.

Barbara did some experimenting in the show business, but that wasn't because she wanted this herself, she did it because people persuaded her to go for it (I wasn't one of them). She competed in the miss Chinatown contest in London in 1979. She became second. Due to this result she got her picture in nearly all of the national newspapers. It could have been a start for a new career in modeling, but she didn't make any effort in this. One time she was asked by a photographer for a photo shoot , also in 1979. After she attended this photo session she told me that she was not going to do this again. She got fed up with the continue changing of clothes and using the make up. Barbara didn't use make up and she was not a fashion follower. It is so strange to me that Barbara didn't make use of the opportunities she had in London, if she dreamed of being a famous television star.

Barbara's ambition were very simple, she wanted a happy family life (something she never had and she idealized). A nice job, a husband, a couple of kids, a few animals. Just a stable and secure life. It was because this ambition we finally broke up, at that time I wasn't ready for this type of life.

Barbara的人生理想是什么？

对我而言，最奇怪的事是，Barbara后来在香港的生活，她所获得的成功正和她在英国时的理想完全相反。这也是我至今还想要弄明白的事情。我觉得她在如此不快乐的原因也许就在于此。我很感谢一些影迷朋友帮助我寻找答案。如果我到了答案，我会在网站上公布的。
令我感到困惑的是Barbara之前从来没有表现出希望成为一个影星，歌手或是电视明星。CCAT剑桥艺术技术学院是一个有许多表演机会的地方，在上课时间里，可以免费参加各种表演课，音乐/声乐课。我修了吉他课程。Barbara没有表现任何这方面的兴趣。她甚至不曾提起或谈起过。她也没有去看过戏剧表演，她住在伦敦时也没有去过。我喜欢看电影，因此我们常常去看电影。Barbara从没有主动提出过去看电影。

Barbara有过一些演艺圈的工作经验，但那不是因为她自己想要的，是周围的人们说服她去的（我没有这样做）。她1979年参加了伦敦华埠小姐选美，获得第二名。她的照片刊登在几乎所有的报纸上。她可以以此为起点开始模特生涯，但她没有在那方面做任何努力。她1979年接受一位摄影师的邀约拍了一组照片，后来她告诉我她不打算再去了。她受不了无休止地换衣服，化妆。 Barbara不喜欢化妆，也不是个爱跟潮流的人。我觉得很奇怪，如果她梦想成为电视明星的话，她在伦敦时怎么会没有利用这些机会。

Barbara那时原来的人生理想很简单，她希望有一个幸福的家庭（她从未曾拥有过，因此她也把它理想化了。），一个好工作，丈夫，几个孩子，几个宠物。只是稳定的安定的生活。正是因为她的这种理想，我们才分手的，那个时候，我还没有准备好过那样的生活。

thanks to Natalie for the translation