43. How we changed 我们如何改变 1981

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Obviously we could not influence each other in the time that we have been separated, which made us change in our own ways. Barbara had become more serious about her life and about her future, much more mature, ready for the next step in life. Starting a working life, being financially independent, wanting to see things in the world and eventually starting a own family. She was very much in control of her life and she knew what she wanted. She seemed very confident.

I lived from day to day, I had no ambitions and I didn't know what I eventually wanted to do with my life. I enjoyed life as I was leading it and I saw no reason why I should change. Neither did I want to start a nine to five working life in order to be more financially independent. You could say that I certainly wasn't very serious about how I lived my life.

Barbara was neat and well dressed. She looked gorgeous. I was the opposite; I didn't really care what I looked like. I didn't cut my hair; I didn't shave very often and just wore the clothes that were convenient to me. I think we looked like the beauty and the beast together. The first thing Barbara did to me was to cut my hair and shave me.

I don't really know what Barbara did during the period we were separated or how she coped with the situation or how she had continued her life. She did tell me about it, but my memory fails. I think my memory only works very well when I have experienced it myself. I sort of remember that she went with her mother to Europe to travel to the large cities. She also did some modeling work and she worked a lot in the evenings.

I did of course ask her if she had boyfriends in the time we were separated. All she said was that I shouldn't ask such silly questions. That was her way of saying that she didn't want talk about it. Therefore I didn't ask again. And even now, after all what people have been telling me about her life, I still don't know if she had another boyfriend in that period.

I told Barbara about my holiday in Greece. About the sunny sandy beaches, the historic monu-ments, the relaxed life, travelling from island to island. She really liked those stories. We agreed that we were going to discover Greece after the final exams. Just taking a plane to Athens and then see what happens. But first we had tackle the problem of how to cope with all our differences and still have a future together.

 The way we changed and looked after ourselves

我们如何改变

很明显我们分开的那段时间我们没能相互影响，这令我们在各自的生活中有了不同的变化。Barbara变得对她的生活和未来更加认真，更成熟，为了下一步的人生做好准备， 开始职业生涯，经济独立，想看看大千世界，最终成立自己的家庭。她能够很好地控制自己的生活，知道自己想要什么。她看起来很自信。

我则是过一天算一天。我没有什么抱负，也不清楚自己到底想要什么样的生活。我享受我当下的生活方式，不觉得有什么需要改变的理由。我也不想开始朝九晚五的工作以换取经济上的独立。可以说当时的我并没有认真地生活。

Barbara总是很整洁，穿着得体。 她看起来美丽动人。我则是完全相反。我一点不在乎自己的外表。我没有理发，不经常刮胡子，穿衣服也是顺手拿来就穿。我想我们当时看起来就是美女与野兽。复合后Barbara做的第一件事就是帮我理发和刮胡子。

我不知道在我们分开的那一段Barbara经历了什么，她怎么捱过了分手的那段时间，如何继续她的生活。她告诉过我的，但是我记不起来了。我想我的记忆只能保留我自己亲身经历的事情。我依稀记得她和妈妈去欧洲各大城市旅行。她接了一些模特的工作，她在晚上有很多工作要做。我当然问过她那段时间她有没有交男朋友。 她只回答说我不应该问这么蠢的问题。那是她表示她不想谈论这个话题的方法。我也因此没有再问过她。 即使是现在，有这么多人告诉了我有关她的事情，我还是不知道她在那段时间里有没有过男朋友。

我告诉Barbara我的希腊之行，阳光沙滩，历史遗迹，轻松的生活，在不同的小岛间游玩。她很喜欢这些故事，我们计划期末考后一起去希腊展开发现之旅，坐飞机去雅典，然后再看情况而定行程。

但是首先我们得着手解决如何处理我们之间种种差异的问题，才可能有一个共同的未来。

(Thanks to Natalie for the translation)