07. Family life 家庭生活 (1977)

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Barbara's life was very different compared with mine. She was the only daughter of a single parent family who had to work hard for their money. I lived with my parents and my two older brothers in large bungalow. This house had a lovely garden with a pond and a tennis court. Some of the earlier pictures of Barbara where taken in this garden.

A girl called Heather lived with us. She was Bill's younger sister (see my story about meeting Bill). Heathers parents emigrated to Turkey, she stayed in our house to finish her study. Heather also studied at the CCAT, she was the same age as me and we were very close. Every evening we tell each other what we had done that day. Barbara always called her my sister.

My mother was a housewife and brought us up in a traditional way. This meant that we as boys didn't have to do anything at all at home. No cooking, no housekeeping, no tiding up. As long as we did well at school my parents let us do everything we wanted. My mother had difficulty integrating with the English way of life and with the language. To make her life more interesting she encouraged us to take our friends home. She didn't mind what they looked like or what kind of background they had, she made them always feel welcome. Our house became a meeting place with always young people around, it was lively and there was always something happening. We played football, tennis or badminton in the garden. Chatted, played chess or other games in the evening. The house had a separate room for those who wanted to watch television and a larger living room where we played all kinds of games. How different this was compared with Barbara's home. So far I know there were never any friends visiting Barbara at her home.

Barbara felt very comfortable in the relaxed environment of my home. She could get on very well with my brothers and she enjoyed being part of the group. Sometimes Barbara even cooked for us.

One day I was laying stretched on the floor talking to my mother who sat on the couch opposite me. Barbara sat on a comfortable chair next to her. Our conversation was in Dutch and we were just talking in a relaxed way. Although Barbara couldn't understand it, she seemed to be listening to it and smiled. I asked her why she was smiling. She said that she enjoyed the way I talked to my mother, she wished she could talk that same way at home to her mother.
Barbara said that she loved seeing that my parents were still holdings hands and cuddling each other. She hoped that when we were that age (about 50) we still be that affectionate.

Barbara with my father

A drawing Barbara made for my parents in 1977.

Barbara being cuddled by my two older brothers

翁美玲被我两个大哥哥拥抱着。

Barbara with me and my dog Polly Ann in the garden of my parents house

翁美玲和我，我的狗保利.安，我们一起在我父母房子的花园里。

A picture taken by Google maps of what used to be my parents house at Gazeley Road, Trumpington Cambridge. The blue coloured area with the houses used to be tenniscourts.

家庭生活

翁美玲的生活同我相比是非常不同的。她是单亲家里的唯一女儿，她的母亲为了养活家人的钱必须每天努力工作。我和我的父母，两个哥哥住在一个大房子里。这个房子有个很漂亮的花园，水池，和一个网球场。一些翁美玲早期的照片就是在那个花园里拍摄到的。

一个叫希瑟的女孩和我们住在一起。她是比尔的小妹妹（参见我的"遇见比尔"那篇故事）。希瑟的父母移民去了土耳其，于是她住在我们家里以便完成学业。希瑟同样也在剑桥艺术科学学院里学习。她和我一样大，我们互相都很亲近。每晚我和希瑟习惯告诉对方当天都干了什么。翁美玲也总是爱叫她姐妹。

我的妈妈是一个家庭主妇，以一种传统方式带大了我们。这意味着我们这几个男孩不必在家里干任何事。不用煮饭，打扫卫生，整理房间。只要我们在学校表现好，父母总是同意我们干我们喜欢干的事情。我的母亲在与英国人沟通时有交流障碍，并且不习惯融入这里的生活方式。（作者Rob家里是荷兰移民）。为了让生活更有意思，她总是鼓励我们带朋友来家中玩。她不介意朋友们长什么样，或者他们的背景，我的母亲总是让我朋友们感到自己很受这里欢迎。我们家里于是因此也就成了大家互相交往见面的地方，总是有很多人待在这里。家里很热闹，总能找到事情去做。我们在花园里一起踢足球，打网球或者羽毛球。在晚上我们则一起聊天或者下象棋。我们家里同样有一个单独的房间，对那些喜欢看电视的人，他们能在那娱乐。同样也有个大的客厅，我们能在那玩各种各样的游戏。相比之下，翁美玲家里与我们家是非常的不同。迄今为止，我还不知道有哪个朋友去她家拜访过。

翁美玲在我们家轻松的氛围中感到非常舒适。她与我兄弟们相处也很好，她很喜欢成为群体的一部分。有时，翁美玲甚至为我们下厨做菜。

有一天我悠闲的躺在地板上与我的母亲交谈，我母亲坐在正对我的沙发上。翁美玲当时坐在靠近我母亲的一个舒适的椅子上。我和母亲用荷兰语轻松的交谈着。虽然翁美玲不能明白我们说什么，但她看起来像是认真的听，并且微笑着。我问她，你为什么要微笑。她说，她喜欢我与我母亲交流的这种方式，渴望她自己也能与自己的母亲在家里以这种方式交谈。

翁美玲说她很喜欢看我父母依然互相握着手，搂抱在一起。她希望当我们也是那个年龄时（大约50岁），我们也能那样的挚爱对方。