I am a very open person, I have positive attitude and believe in the good side of people. When I was young I was also very enthusiastic. You could say I was naÃ¯ve then. Barbara was very different. She was a closed person, careful, reserved and on her guard. She had much more life experience than me. Even though this difference Barbara often let me be. She didnâ€™t interfere with my sometimes boyish behavior. She just called me a big kid. But I remember a few times that I apparently went too far in my keenness and made the wrong priorities. Those were the moment that Barbara had to correct me.
I was invited by the hockey team to join them with an international tournament. Not that I am such a good hockey player, but the tournament was in Holland. They thought it might be handy to take someone along who new Dutch. That way I could translate or represent them in case of trouble or injuries. The tournament was very decadent. We went by plane and we had our own room in a hotel next to the sport fields. The hockey team was a mixed team. There were a lot of international teams, and they were all mixed teams, staying in the same hotel. Playing hockey did not have our highest priority. We did not win a single match. It was the whole week party time. I didn't deceive Barbara, I never did.
Later, every time when I met one of the girls who had played with that tournament I started chatting with them, Barbara was then close by but didn't join in. For some reason she had enough of this chatting of me with these girls. The next time I talked to one of these girls, Barbara walked around her and stood still behind her. She looked straight at me with a glance of â€œand now it is enough!â€. Obviously I couldn't concentrate on my conversation anymore. The message was clear.
I have never seen Barbara read a book. I did see her looking through art books, trying to get some inspiration, but then she only looked at the pictures. I therefore don't know what her taste of literature was, we didn't talk about books. I like reading, but I didn't read when Barbara was around. She would get annoyed if I did. She wanted my attention, reading I should do in my own time.
When I was 13 years old I started ballroom dancing, I did this for three years. I do not consider myself as a good dancer. I just knew the steps and the moves. In those days, the disco-period (Saturday night fever, a movie Barbara and I saw together, we also went to Grease), being able to dance made an impression. Often girls ask me if I wanted to dance with them. Then I just danced with them, without any other intentions.
Barbara and I liked dancing. The jive was our favorite. I saw on Youtube a video where she was dancing the rumba with Kent. I recognized the jive steps and moves they used in that dance. Only our jive was a bit more throwing about. Over the shoulder and pulling up between the legs and that kind of thing.
One of the first times that I went to a disco with Barbara, a girl came to me and asked me if I would dance with her. That was after I had danced with Barbara. As I was used to these invita-tions I didn't think further and I agreed and went dancing with her. Well, that was a mistake. Barbara made it very clear that I was not allowed to dance with any other girls without her per-mission. "If a girl ask you for a dance you have ask me first!" . But from then on, every time when I asked her if I could dance with someone else because I was asked, she answered no. Later I said: 'why do you want me to ask you for permission, there is no point, you always say no". She answered: "you never know, I might say yes one day, you just keep on asking!" But she never said yes.
(translated by eblc2006)
(translated from simplified Chinese by Chan Chi Chung Andy)