One Friday evening I went to a party alone. It was Friday therefore Barbara had to work, she couldn't come. I didn't matter that much, I was used to going alone to parties. When I am at a party I always start in the kitchen. The kitchen is the place where everybody eventually comes, it was easy to make contact there. If I get fed up talking to a certain person, I can easily slip away, pretending that I only came to the kitchen to get a drink.

This party was organized by some of our Chinese friends. If I remember rightly I was the only not Chinese there. There was also a girl there who I had never seen before, she wasn't one of the students of the CCAT. I started talking to her (in the kitchen), we could really get on well together. Sometimes I get that, I start talking to someone I never met before and it just clicks. Somehow we are on the same wavelength and conversation just goes, no awkward silences and everything said seems to trigger new stories from both sides. This also happened with this girl. She was very cheerful, laughed a lot, full of energy. I can't remember her name. I can remember that she was 17 years old, had 4 sisters, no brothers and her family owned a Chinese take away, her father was known as a heavy gambler.

The whole evening we stayed together, talking and dancing. My friends noticed that we liked each other. Several times they interfered with our conversation and started talking about Barbara. Or when we danced they came dancing beside us and reminded me of a girl called Barbara, by shouting very hard in my ear with a low voice 'BARBARA!'. Beside the talking and dancing nothing further happened. We didn't arrange to see each other again, we didn't exchange addresses and I didn't ask her telephone number. For me it was just a very pleasant evening.

Barbara decided that she wanted to celebrate her 19th birthday with a big party. A party where all the guests would have a nice meal together and then there be a opportunity to dance. She invited all her Asian friends, most of them were the members of the Asian society. It must have been about 60 people. Barbara rented the largest Chinese restaurant of Cambridge , The Pagoda. The funny thing was that she insisted that I would pay the bill, but she also insisted that it would be with her money. She would give me the money beforehand and then I pay with a cheque from my bank account. At that moment I didn't understand why she wanted this. Of course did the restaurant owner later tell Barbara's mother that I payed for the party. The only comment her mother made was 'he must have had too much money'.

Barbara organized everything precisely as she wanted it to be. She decided the menu, negotiated with the restaurant owner, organized the music, made the invitations. She didn't want me to get involved. It was going to be her party.

Everything went as planned. Barbara got all the attention, she was the shining centre of the party. I sat next to her, not feeling very comfortable. Two opposites again. I am a person who normally likes to stay in the background, out of the picture. Barbara even sang spontaneously a duet of Chinese traditional loves song with another girl. This was the second and last time that I ever saw Barbara perform in public.

After the meal Barbara was very busy entertaining the guest. She obviously had no time for me. I didn't feel like sitting all evening next to Barbara, I am a restless type, I like to be able to walk around at parties. I got bit bored as nearly everybody spoke Chinese, therefore I decided to wonder around a bit. While doing this I saw the girl from the previous party again. I hadn't noticed her before. She was sitting alone near the dance floor. I went to set next to her and immediately we started talking again. We chatted and laughed together like we had known each other for years. I think we been talking for quite a while when one the girls came to me and said: 'there is something wrong with Barbara, you better go and see her'.

At a distance I saw that Barbara was surrounded by a few girlfriends, she was very distressed all in tears. When I reached her, the girlfriends quickly left us alone. I was startled seeing Barbara like this. I had never witnessed this before. Before she was so cheerful, happy, radiating, strong and in control. And now all of this was gone, tears, timid, looking so vulnerable, even humble. She told me that seeing me like that with that girl, she thought that this was the end of our relation and she just snapped, she couldn't control her emotions.

I supposed I ruined Barbara's birthday party. Most of the guest must have thought badly of me, but that didn't bother me. What I learned that evening and which I had never had realized before, was that my behavior had such an impact on Barbara emotions. I realized that Barbara was much more delicate than I ever had thought . I knew that in the future I had to be very careful in my contact with other girls.
And that girl from the party? I never heard of her or seen her again.






整个聚会我们都 待在一起,聊天,跳舞。我的朋友注意到我们互相喜欢对方,有几次他们打断我们的谈话,说起美玲。或者当我们跳舞的时候,他们也在我们身边跳,在我耳边大叫一声,然后小声说:美玲,以此提醒我还有个叫美玲的女孩。其实我和那个女孩除了聊天和跳舞,并没有再进一步。我们没有打算再见面,我们没有互相交换地址,我也没问她的电话号码,对我来说那只是一个非常愉快的夜晚,仅此而已。

美玲决定,为了庆祝她的十九岁生日办一个大型聚会,请所有的客人都来享受美食,然后跳舞。她邀请了她所有的亚裔朋友,大部分都是亚裔学生协会的。美玲租了剑桥的最大的中餐馆-----佛教宝塔,请了大概60个客人。最搞笑 的是






(translated by Julia)



# Barbara Birthday PartyAnonymous 2010-10-14 05:15
Hi Rob, you are a very patient guy. Barbara is very emotionally fragile, somewhat unusual, may be insecure inside.
I guess it is hard for her to lose her father at a young age.
Q1) Did Barbara's mom & uncle attend the party?
Q2) Do you all have pictures of this birthday party?
# RE: Barbara Birthday PartyRob 2010-10-15 07:18
Q1 No, she invited only studentfriends
Q2 I suppose there were pictures taken but I don't have them. Maybe they are still in Histon where Barbara's personal belongings are.
# RE: Birthday partyBarfan 2010-10-14 19:51
Your stories have been more and more captivating. :D
# RE: Birthday partyunknown 2010-10-15 14:44
Can feel that you had started to feel the difference between the 2 of you..and the stress you felt in this relationship.
# Wow, Her Personality Is So Close to Huang Rong'sNickolas Hsiao 2011-02-15 00:26
They were both a little bit jealous when with the boy they loved, often we fans think Barbara not played the role "Huang Rong", actully she was just acting as what herself was~~ both so cute and so lovely :-)
# star signA 2015-01-29 16:20
Hi Rob
Thank you for creating this site, your stories are very touching. And I am very curious about your star sign. Is it possible to reveal? :-)
# RE: star signRob 2015-01-30 12:28
I am a Lion
# Doubt and UnknownKen Chau 2020-06-16 09:56
I think that you still don't understand why Barbara bursted into tears in her birthday.